In spite of the coverage devoted to Bush in the newspapers and on the television channels in India, the media has missed out on some important details. Lucky for my blog’s readers, I have the inside scoop. (Not that scoop, but I like the way you think.)
According to sources^, Bush prefers to use American-brand toilet paper. The sources said that there’ll be a box of that brand (the brand that must not be named) unloaded from Air Force One. The source added that the secret service agent Glint Westwood would carry the box and safeguard it.
We asked him for a comment and this is what he said: ‘I can’t hear you because I have a finger in my ear.’
We then contacted a prominent Indian politican for his reaction and he said, ‘E sassura toilet paper kiya hota hain? Humko e sab nahin na chahiye.’ Translation: What is this freaking toilet paper? We don’t need no toilet paper.*
That’s all from 365x7x24x60x60 — the real news source.
^ — I use the term sources in a broad, Clinton-esque kind of way.
* — The colourful nature of the language used (Hindi) may have been lost in translation.