Forwarding: Just don't do it

I hate getting them.

I rarely send them.

I still get them.

Sometimes from someone who’s just discovered the Internet and wants to send you every chain letter, joke, hoax (virus or otherwise), or some sentimental email. I don’t want them, stop sending them to me. They’re this close to spam.

That’s not the worst part. The forwards come with all the emails that all the other ___________ (insert really strong word here) have sent to their friends and friends of their friends. So, to read the email, you have to do an infinite scroll and then you get a bunch of __________ (you know what to do).

If that’s not bad, the emails may come with the ‘>>>>>… up to infinity’ before each line. That says, I’m too busy to format the email but I’ll send it to four hundred people.

Speaking of four hundred people, don’t you just love those emails where everyone’s email address is dropped into the ‘To’ field of the email. Half a page gone right there.

What irks me the most about forwarding is the ‘one night stand’ (ONS) kind of forwarding. The email ONS refers to when you exchange one email (or two or three) with a person and they get forward with you. Not that way, they start sending you forwards. What are we? Best friends or something?

So, the next time you forward something, be afraid because I’ll be watching you. They have software to keep track of these things, you know.

Just ask the Department of Coloured Alerts; they that use the ‘Mel Gibson’ act.

Psst: This rant opinion was brought to you by __________ (please contact for product placement opportunities).


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