— Update: 10 August 2010 —
I still cannot believe that this post gets so many hits and views. Some people come here after searching for “I hate Bangalore” in Google. Fair play to them, they’re entitled to their likes and dislikes, but I don’t hate Bangalore. In fact, I love living here, which is one reason why I’ve been here since 2001 (9 years, at the time of this update, if you’re counting).
This post was meant to be light-hearted and I’ll encourage people to take it that way. As an aside, if you point out stuff that you think is wrong about a city, it hardly means that you hate that city.
You may also be interested in reading Why Bangalore Still Rocks, a post that doesn’t get read as much as this one does.
— end of update —
Pre-Script: I wrote the following piece as a sample for a magazine (for the 2006 New Year) and sent to the editor. No contact after that. So, I wanted to share this powerful piece of writing with you.
draws near is nearing its fourth month, magazines, newspapers, websites, and blogs will publish have published “best of 2005” lists, so we’re doing something different.
We targeted the Silicon Valley of India and after detailed research , came up with eight reasons why you should not move there. The reasons are arranged in the order in which you read them.
1. One way or no way — Bangalore has so many one-ways that many people from other cities are still wandering about on the roads, unable to figure out where to go. Some of them are men who refuse to ask for directions.
2. Traffic — If the one-ways (Lillee) don’t get you, the traffic (Thommo) will. It’s so bad that people are spending more time at the office to escape traffic jams. According to well-placed sources , this has led to an increase in affairs at work and high Internet bills.
3. Sneeze city — Bangalore is one of the worst places to live in if you have any kind of allergies. And, if you don’t have allergies, you’ll get them here. There’s a reason that there are so many doctors and even more pharmacies in Bangalore.
4. A simple life — If you’re coming to Bangalore for the nightlife, don’t bother. Pubs close somewhere around 11:30 pm. Also, there’s really no time to party, because by the time you reach the pub after picking up friends, it’s already closing time. So, people sit at home and watch TV–the TRP ratings of all shows are up in Bangalore.
5. Lots of money for value — Bangalore is an expensive place. Rents are high, buying an apartment is even more expensive and if you do buy one, your panoramic view will be of a village approximately ten kilometres from Bangalore. Then, the prices are so high that if you ask a Bangalorean on the street where the vegetable shop is, he’ll respond, “Vegetable? What’s that?”. 
6. King Kong on IMAX? Forget it — What self-respecting person would choose to live in a city that has no IMAX theatre? Yup, we don’t have one in the IT capital of India. To add insult to Hyderabadi biryani, people in Hyderabad have been watching IMAX movies for over two years.
7. No city airport — Bangalore does have an airport, but the airport belongs to HAL. In keeping with the city’s nature, there are luggage trolley jams inside the airport building. The proposed international airport is about a half-a-day drive from Bangalore and has had starting trouble. Recently, a high-profile IT person quit the airport board because an ex-prime minister wouldn’t buy stocks in his company. Or something like that.
8. McDonald’s, KFC, Pizza Hut, but no US visa — You can get a McAloo Tikki in Bangalore but if you want a visa, you’ll have to go to Chennai. Or Hyderabad, which is going to get the new visa processing centre. The US consulate picked them–what does that tell you? Hyderabad also added a KFC recently and it’s a matter of time before they get a McDonald’s.
All this should convince you to stay away from Bangalore. Go to Hyderabad, Pune, or Cuba (the new outsourcing destination) instead.
Bangalore’s too crowded anyway.
* — Aren’t you sick of those top ten lists?
 — Reading Times of India Bangalore every day.
[2} — The sources were “placed” in the article.
 — This could also happen because he doesn’t know English. (Some errors may have occurred during translation from Kannada.)