This is a public service announcement, sponsored by no one.
If you have a store/shop in Bangalore, please make sure that you write the signs in Kannada. You may use English too, but only if the Kannada version is present. If not, your name shall be blackened.
If you are from another state, please learn Kannada. You may speak in English or Hindi for some of the time, but speaking in Tamil may cause problems, especially if you’re asking for water.
If you can’t read Kannada, you’ll find it difficult to read the signs on the buses. If you also can’t speak Kannada, pray that the conductor knows English or Hindi. Also, learn to say, ‘I am learning Kannada’. In Kannada, not English. Another option is to buy a bike or a car. but you may need to speak Kannada with the dealer.
Watch Kannada movies, to appreciate the culture of Karnataka. Also, you will help the starving artists of the movie industry.
If you work in a call centre, speak Kannada with your clients, even if they’re in the US. If they’re calling someone in Karnataka, then they should speak Kannada.
If you’re from another state, please change your name so that it sounds like you’re from Karnataka. Also, please carry adequate documentation stating that you renounce your state of birth and that you are a born-again-Kannadiga.
(If you’re from Belgaum, meet me offline; you’ve more problems than this blog post can solve.)
If you’re from another country, make sure that the country is richer than Karnataka. Otherwise, learn Kannada.
If you don’t like Kannada food, starve.
If you visit a pub, drink only alcohol made in Karnataka, using Cauvery water.
PS: Ideally, this post should’ve been written in Kannada.
PPS: This post was inspired in part by the comments left on my post titled ‘Bangalore, the day after’